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Real Men/Women of Genius is meant to poke a bit of harmless fun at the not-so bright members of this site. Disguised as playful rants, the nobler side of these posts holds the hope that some light will be shed on the sometimes irreparable mistakes that men(and women) make. What makes me the expert? I'm not, but there are two ways to learn from mistakes. By making your own, or by watching others. I've made plenty of mistakes, and seen plenty of them, and I have learned a great deal, and I wish to share my knowledge. I usually post once a week, on what I affectionately call Bloody Sunday. Check back for new posts!
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Real Men of Genius? #25, Mr. It Was Just A Joke
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Posted:Nov 23, 2008 2:57 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 8:20 am
2341 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? #25
Today, I salute you, Mr. It Was Just A Joke.
This is a "genius" who decided to go head-to-head with a REAL man of genius...
Me.
First off, you make the ROOKIE mistake of crossing WAY over the line of what is considered joking.
Without even making a valid attempt to develop some level of rapport with the members in the chat room, you decide to test the waters...by tossing in a few insults. But...you say, "It was just a joke."
Instead of being creative, and perhaps "seriously joking", you come up with "stank pussy" as your best opening line. You reiterate, "It was just a joke." Some people aren't laughing. In fact, they are hurt.
Enter the Great White shark. (That would be ME.) You just caught his attention by spilling blood into the water. The blood of the shark's friends. You really don't have a CLUE how bad of an idea that was...yet.
I think this is the part where you ask yourself, "Do I feel lucky?"
Well....do ya....PUNK?!
Adding a heavy dose of utter stupidity to the mix, you choose to face the Great White head on.
Your luck just ran out.
The shark politely advises you to shape up, or ship out.
You reply, "Shut the fuck up!" (not exactly Shakespeare, are you?)
The shark expresses his disappointment in your lame attempt at a comeback, and strongly advises you to leave.
Your grand finale? "You're suffering from tiny penis syndrome." (High school is over, pal.)
The Great White disapproves of your final cry for help, and uninvites you from the chatroom.
All becomes silent on your side. You only lasted two insults. That would officially make you a Two Pump Chump.
That's insulting.
Here the shark was, thinking it was going to get a hearty meal, when the disappointing fact was, that he didn't even get teased by an appetizer.
But, perhaps all this talk of sharks is something you fail to comprehend. You probably WOULD be foolish enough to take on a real Great White.
Let's put things in a different persepective.
Take you, for instance. Normal, everyday you. You chose to take me on, and became the star of this blog.
Is the BAD IDEA part starting to come into focus now?
The funny part is, here I can do whatever I want to, because here, I am the ruler. Here...you answer to ME. Here...I am all-powerful. This, my puny, misguided, dim-witted, mortal friend, is my universe. Here...
I'm God.
No. I'm NOT joking.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? #24, Mr. No Brakes
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Posted:Nov 16, 2008 10:18 am
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2008 12:42 pm
2345 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? #24, Mr. No Brakes
Happy Bloody Sunday, everyone. Got a real special type of "genius" to talk about today.
Today, I salute you, Mr. No Brakes.
Too many (FAR too many) people exceed the speed limit on the roads and highways these days, and ONE person running a red light is just ONE TOO MANY. Lately, while driving around town, I've been noticing more and more intersections that are becoming photo enforced, which gave me an idea.
What if social interaction could be photo enforced? Not only would it be absolutely HILARIOUS, it might ACTUALLY make some guys (and gals) think before they act too quickly in future situations.
Picture, if you will, yourself driving down the road, headed toward a green traffic light. Suddenly, it turns yellow, but you and your vehicle aren't moving fast enough to possibly make it before the light turns red. So, tell me, if you haven't already thought about it, what is the usual reaction?
Gee, let ME guess. 
Of course, you hit the gas, increasing your speed to a dangerous level, and even though you think you're going to make it...surprise, surprise! Smile for the camera!
Imagine if social situations were the same. You're with someone, having a great time. That second drink you gulped down starts to kick in with a vengeance. So, when you get a slight buzz, what do you do? You hit the gas....or...the ALCOHOL.
Smile for the camera! If you're still capable, that is. If, of course, you haven't yet fallen into the "shaken, not stirred" category. You've just blown by the proverbial "red light". Instead of stopping when you saw the "what the hell are you doing?" light (yellow), you chose to rush in where angels fear to tread. Now you are the poster boy for Falling Down Drunk Part (just pick a number).
If only it were possible, to actually STOP someone from making a mistake BEFORE they make it.
I remember something I learned in Driver's Education class.
Stop on YELLOW.
This could apply in all walks of life. When you feel yourself about to screw up, STOP. The chance will come again to move forward with a better idea in mind. Like, maybe not trying to grope the beautiful woman that's clearly not interested in you. Or perhaps keeping your mouth shut for a couple of seconds before offending a lady that has demonstrated a level of class that you can only dream of.
You, of course, are about to disagree with me. If so, let me just say...
Smile for the camera!
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? #23, Mr. Vulgar Term User
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Posted:Nov 9, 2008 8:22 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 8:15 am
2294 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 23
Today, I salute you, Mr. Vulgar Term User
Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits
Seven simple words.
Now, if you already know someone well enough, saying these words won't offend them.
However, if you JUST met her, consider these the OTHER Seven Deadly Sins.
Sins that could very well bring you Hell on earth.
Okay, so shit and piss aren't so bad. Only a nun would take offense to those words, but the word "fuck" is far too often accompanied by "Let's" or "Wanna".
If you're even THINKING about saying the C-word to a woman you first met, I hope for your sake you're in a chat room at the time, and the worst thing she can do to you is toss you into the ignore bin. I've never met a woman that doesn't think that the C-word is a degrading term. Often, it is used as an insult.
The same goes for the word "tits". Most women also find this word degrading. Notice I said MOST, not ALL. That doesn't give you free reign to refer to her breasts as you please.
As for the words cocksucker and motherfucker, I hope I don't have to actually TELL you that these words are inappropriate. Not exactly content of a good first impression.
Now, after all I've said, the fact still remains that not everyone thinks the same. Chances that you take with one person may backfire with another.
The key here is respect. Not only respect for those you meet, but respect for yourself. The way you treat others reflects strongly on your own self-image.
The real challenge is swallowing your pride to show respect for those who clearly do not deserve it.
Even if it's YOU.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real WOMEN of Genius? 7
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Posted:Nov 2, 2008 8:27 am
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2008 10:52 am
2363 Views
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GLC Presents: Real WOMEN of Genius? 7
Okay all you loveable, loyal readers, now that the unexpected hiatus created by computer problems is over, we can get back to showing our love (or lack thereof) to the geniuses of the fairer sex.
Today, I salute you, Ms. I Want Him The Way I Want Him
I'll give you the fact that it's human nature to want what one cannot have, but how many times does it take for something you can't have to fall in the hands of another for you to stop wanting it?
I've heard of a saying. Men marry women hoping they'll never change. Women marry men hoping they will.
Set marriage aside for a moment. This can apply to general attraction. It pains me when I actually find evidence that this phrase is true in some cases.
You see a guy, you get to know him, you become more involved, perhaps even exclusive. When you realize he's not going to change for you or anyone else, you're basically done with him, until...
You either see him with another woman, or you discover that he's moved on to dating other women.
Suddenly, he's a prize you must have. You realize what you've lost, and now you want it back. Funny how life works. You don't know what you've got until it's gone, and the painful realization that it may be gone for good is enough to keep you awake at night.
Here's a nickel's worth (maybe more) of free advice. If you find someone you have fun with, enjoy being around, and doesn't put up with your attempts to change him, leave well enough alone. If he wants to change, he'll do it on his own.
A house is something you change. A car is something you change. You can even change your clothes and buy new ones when you want, but the person you chose for a relationship is not a blank canvas you can paint whatever picture you desire on. They are not a lifeless lump of clay awaiting your hands to shape them into what you want them to be. They are a person that has defined reasons for who they are, and you should respect that at all costs, because someday, someone will disagree with who you are, and try to change YOU.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 22
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Posted:Oct 4, 2008 11:15 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2008 8:49 pm
2391 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 22
Today, I salute you, Mr. Do I Get A Happy Ending?
Something tells me that a little place called "reality" is OBVIOUSLY not where you're from.
You meet her, chat with her, find out a little (very little, I might add) about her, and almost right away, you pop the question.
No, not THAT question. That would be even more ridiculous that THIS one.
"Do I get a happy ending?"
I've come to the realization that I need a seatbelt on my chair, because I nearly just fell out of it.
Okay, here's MY question.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I'm not even gonna add my trademark, "What are you, STUPID?"
The audacity of some guys never ceases to amaze me. How some men can actually expect a positive reaction from any woman out there boggles even MY mind, and believe me when I say that FEW things actually confuse me.
Truly, it is you who is confused, though. I might add desperate, shameless, and just plain BORING, too. No sense of creativity. No mystery at all. You let the cat out of the bag almost immediately.
I know. I know. It was letting the cat out of her pants that had you so distracted. Not once did it ever occur to you that she might actually expect an ounce of respect. That would actually make you consider treating her like a person instead of the flavor of the week.
But, I feel the need to offer you a nickel's worth of FREE advice.
Here it is...
There's only ONE place where guys like YOU are going to find a happy ending.
A fairy tale.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 21
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Posted:Sep 28, 2008 9:59 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2008 1:36 pm
2232 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 21
Okay loyal readers. Bloody Sunday is here again, so it's time to toss another "genius" on the fire and get to roasting!
Today, I salute you, Mr. I Do Wrong, and I Know I Do Wrong.
Well, I'm nowhere near the status of what one would call a psychology major, but I do know people, and let me tell you this. I probably know you better than YOU know YOURSELF.
You see, there's this thing called a conscience. I know that it's a very big word for such a little mind, but read on, and I will try to communicate on your level.
I want you to do me, yourself, and pretty much, the REST of the WORLD a favor. Go to a mirror. Now look yourself directly in the eyes while recalling all the wrong things you've intentionally done. You know that burning feeling you're getting right now? The one that's telling you, "What are you, STUPID?" (no, it isn't me this time). THAT, my misled friend is called your conscience. It can guide you to heavenly bliss, or drop you into a pit of fire and brimstone. While I believe that Heaven and Hell are simply manifestations of what you choose to make of your existence, they are extremely effective tools to keep your soul on the straight and narrow.
Now, if you think that doing wrong is cool. Think again.
But, let's take a look at the bigger picture.
I believe that the difference between good and evil is the perception of the intention. That being said, you may be perceived as a bad person because of others' perception of your actions. However, I know that you are simply grasping for some level of control over your life, being the "bad boy" in the hopes that a tiny bit of respect will fall your way.
Well, you're in for a BIG, NASTY surprise.
You just added yourself to a list of people that give new meaning to "every has his day".
People like internet scam artists, overcharging credit card companies, and those numbskulls who drive WAY too fast through a multi-level parking garage. Oh, and let's not forget the brainiacs that keep the gas prices near the stratosphere.
Maybe you should just go ahead and change your name to Lil Bow Wow, because your day is coming....SOON.
But, I believe that anyone has the capacity for change, if they really want to. The choice is yours.
Besides, that's the only way you may ever stay off that other list you've become so familiar with lately. The IGNORE list.
I really wish it were up to me to give you another chance with everyone. I'm sure they would find it in their hearts to forgive you. The problem with being ignored is...
No one's listening.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 19
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Posted:Sep 7, 2008 4:43 am
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2008 1:48 am
2306 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 19
Today, I salute you, Mr. Uses The Same Lines on Every Woman He Meets
Honestly, this shouldn't be something that you have to be told, but as they say, there's nothing common about common sense.
My question is, do you actually realize how many women you hit on in one night? Furthermore, do you take into account that your desperation not only shows in your actions, but in the poorly rehearsed lines you keep repeating?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and guess "No".
These things SHOULD surprise me, but the sad truth is, they no longer do. It doesn't surprise me that you go from woman to woman, demonstrating that the only creative bone in your body is the one you're trying to satisfy. To you, a meet and greet is simply a meat market, and you are shopping for the cheapest deal you can find.
Not too creative, if you ask me.
Not too bright either, ignoring the fact that your next would-be victim is obviously within earshot of the last failed attempt. Surely she hears every word you're saying, and hopes upon hope that your current prospect doesn't fall for the lines that she just shot down. I guess it also never occurred to you that the two women might know each other? Boy, I'd love to be a fly on the wall while they laugh at you.
But, of course, there will always be someone who will succumb to your will, and you will find in the "meat market" something that isn't "out of stock". Perhaps a "sale"? You know, someone that will go home with you for little in return? You'll have your way with her, of course, and then you'll tell all of your friends, your friends' friends, and your friends' friends' friends.
...and so will she. Only she won't be bragging. She'll be telling every woman about what you did, warning them about you and your ways. Sooner or later, the day will come when guys will be searching for hair-brained schemes, and they'll find them, in the same section as your sex life.
DISCONTINUED.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real WOMEN of Genius? 5
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Posted:Jul 26, 2008 8:31 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 8:01 am
2643 Views
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GLC Presents: Real WOMEN of Genius? 5
I'm going to be pretty busy tomorrow, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to pay tribute to the female "genius" of the month.
Today, I salute you, Ms. If I Can't Have Him, No One Can
Okay, so it didn't work out with you and Romeo. Instead of moving on with your life, wishing him well, and striving for something better in your own life, you choose the exact opposite.
You'll forgive me if I can't fathom the idea of dwelling in the past, and spending most of your time making his life a living hell. What kind of life does that make yours?
What kind of person sends anonymous emails, hoping that by supposedly revealing some deep dark secret, that his chances with another will be gone?
Most people don't put forth that much effort into a full-time job, let alone their own social lives, yet you choose to spend your days conjuring up devious ways to prevent any trace of happiness he may encounter with the next woman he meets.
Most people would be wondering, who's running Hell while you're gone?
Now, if you're imagining me sitting here scratching my head, wondering what the hell you were thinking, THINK AGAIN.
I know EXACTLY what's going on in that misguided mind of yours.
You believe, in some twisted way, that because he didn't make you happy, he doesn't deserve his own happiness.
Let me let you in on a little secret.
EVERYONE deserves to be happy, and not you, me, or anyone else has the power to change that.
Even you, as you sit in your room drumming your nails on the table, plotting your next diabolical scheme, deserve to find happiness...and when you finally come to your senses and realize the happiness you are denying others, you will find it someday.
Honestly, I hope you do, because then, and only then, will you cease to find new ways to wreak havoc on the innocent hearts around you.
Yes, I said hearts. People, maybe not you, are looking for love every day, and even though the acts of a certain envious individual may threaten that possibility, they will find it.
I know that you have what you believe is a good, justifiable reason for your actions, but know this...
When you meet a man who treats you not like the person you appear to be, but like the person he knows you CAN be, and your heart cannot help but begin to feel...
You know...
Love?
I want you to look around you, and notice if anyone is trying to stop it.
It's a strange feeling having to look over your shoulder, watching your back, huh?
Feel that fear that creeps up on you without warning. THAT is how the people you tormented felt.
It's funny how life has a way of returning what you give it.
Just remember...
Payback's a BITCH.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 17
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Posted:Jul 20, 2008 9:06 am
Last Updated:May 18, 2024 7:31 pm
2479 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 17
Today, I salute you, Mr. I Don't Use Condoms Because I Pull Out.
Hang on just a minute. I'm still laughing (and shaking my head) about that one. Give me a second to contain myself.
Oh, forget it. Conquering world hunger would be easier. On with the rant.
I'm even going to skip the usual "Are you kidding me?" and the standard "What are you, an idiot?"
Few things personify not only immaturity, but blatant foolishness. "I pull out."? That's like playing with fire, my friend. Sooner or later, you're going to get burned.
Yeah, I know. Taking a trip to Bareback Mountain is great and all, but not only does it present the opportunity for unwanted pregnancies, it opens you up to the multitude of sexually transmitted diseases that are lurking in every nook and cranny.
Here's the kicker. By using protection, not only may you be protecting yourself, you could be unwittingly protecting her from something you may have without knowing it.
There's a sobering thought, huh? You could be not only sowing your seed by accident, you could be spreading disease, and if you've caught any of the after-school specials on TV, you know that for some of those diseases, there is no cure yet. Some of which, are potentially fatal.
I'll tell you this. If you knew what some of those STDs can do to a healthy person's genitalia, you'd probably take an immediate vow of celibacy.
If I am to go by the level of intelligence and maturity based on your "no condom" decision, I would recommend that you don't breed. We don't need MORE decision-makers of that nature running around this planet.
It's a well-known fact that all men hate condoms because they decrease sensation. Some of them damn near eliminate it. Well, I personally loathe the fact that, yes, they do cut down sensitivity like a shot of Novocaine. However, I don't care if she's eighteen or eighty. You don't know who she's been with, so don't pretend you do.
So, before you stoke her and poke her, remember the rule.
Don't be a fool. Wrap your tool.
GLC
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 16
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 7:45 pm
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2013 7:56 am
2467 Views
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GLC Presents: Real Men of Genius? 16
Today, I salute you, Mr. I'm Stroking My Cock on Cam.
Tell me, please. Does that line EVER really WORK?
How many women are that hard-up that they will flock to a man's webcam to see him play with himself?
It can't work. If it did, I wouldn't see the repetitive posts in the chat room.
..yo male stroking cock on cam.
..yo male stroking cock on cam.
..yo male stroking cock on cam.
Me, I would take a hint after the third try.
Oh, and the BEST part.
"Page me if interested."
That one seems to have NO limit.
Sure, I'm certain that ladies will rush to view the webcam of a guy who has nothing better to do than whack off in front of a camera. Sexy. Real sexy.
But, as always, there are those choice few that actually ENJOY the cyber-sex thing. Personally, I can get the same result from a porno and a paper towel.
Okay, let's say you're stroking. Stroking. Stroking. Stroking some more. You blow your load all over your keyboard, and the party's over...unless, of course, you're one of those rare males that can cum over and over without pausing to recuperate.
If you are, I'm sure your future is in front of a camera, just not in the way you're spending it now.
Bottom line, if you enjoy staring into the lens as women watch you, then by all means, go right ahead. I honestly think that the cold, unfeeling monitor of a computer and the lens of a webcam pale in comparison to hot skin-on-skin.
Call me crazy. What do I know?
GLC
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