What the fuck??
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Posted:Aug 11, 2008 7:06 am
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2008 7:46 pm
8676 Views
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For the past month I have changed my eating habits. I eat more vegetables and fruits. Dinner time comes and I eat about half of what I used to. I have cut most of the carbs out of my diet. I gained weight, six pounds! He lost it, about 10-15 pounds!
How fucking unfair is that?
Although some pants that used to be tight on me fit pretty damned good.
Thought for the day
My cock doesn't talk politics.
~ S. Sachs
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How Rude!!!
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Posted:Jul 29, 2008 7:35 am
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2008 7:11 pm
8454 Views
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I know I have not been coming around that much lately and when Ido I sometimes post a blog and visit one or two people. I don't see it changing much with school starting in a couple of weeks. But I do think of you and miss you all very much.
Thought for the day
Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
~ George Bernard Shaw
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Play along...
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Posted:Jul 28, 2008 10:36 am
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2008 7:00 am
8277 Views
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"All I want is time alone with you. With out work schedules we don't get much time together. They are here every night, all day Saturday and Sunday." She said.
"I want them here."
"Can't we have just one day without company?"
"I'm not going to stop them from coming over."
"Why? Is there something going on with you and her?"
"She's like my sister."
"Bull Shit! You two have a thing going on. What about her husband? They have only been married a little over a year!"
"We are not seeing each other."
"Then why haven't we have sex?"
"I can't fucking get it up!"
"You don't even fucking try! All I want is time alone with you."
Add on to this story
Thought for the day
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
~ Cary Grant
~ Author Unknown
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400 What?!?!!
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Posted:Jul 21, 2008 7:59 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2011 4:27 am
8442 Views
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My sister just moved back from Texas. I am so very happy to see her and that she lives closer. She shops and shops. Yesterday as she was finishing her unpacking from her move, she called me and said, "I have some clothes your daughters may be able to wear." I don't mind hand-me-downs so I agreed. She brought them over to me and the back of the little Ford Ranger was full. There were at least eight garbage bags stuffed full with clothes.
When I was sorting through the clothes, I noticed they were like brand new. She said most had only been worn maybe once or twice.
My and his girlfriend were coming over last night and I asked her if she needed clothes. She said she was down to her last three pair of jeans. She ended up with 11 pair of jeans and some really cute shirts. She also scored a really nice dress she looks damn hot in. My said, "DAMN! You look fuckin' hot!" When my got home she liked about 27 pair of the jeans. There are about another 15 pair that we are going to let my daughters friends check out to see if they can wear them.
Guess what? My sister still has clothes she needs to go through. She estimates she has about 400 pair of jeans.
Who Needs That Many Clothes?
Thought for the day
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
~ Author Unknown
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Pinch Me
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Posted:Jul 16, 2008 7:14 am
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2008 8:00 am
8529 Views
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Last week I asked my if she would call her boyfriend and ask him if he wanted to help her clean my classroom and prepare the computers for this years use. I told her to let him know that I could pay him and her some money, but the amount would not be too great. She called, he agreed. I talked to his mom and everything was set.
After my staff meeting yesterday I went to my room and the (including my youngest ) had done a fabulous job. But I realize I may need them for one extra day. There is so much to do. My that I have been having so much trouble with was laughing and joking with me. Basically, like old times. I enjoyed it so much.
Finally, I said, "You know, I'd love to have a relationship with you again."
"Yeah, it pretty much sucks not having one." she replied.
"Well, you know you have to quit lying to me and stop sneaking out of the house."
She smiled and nodded her head and came over and gave me a huge hug.
Last night I was sitting in the kitchen straddling a chair and she came up behind me and hugged me tight and looked at my boyfriend and said, "I LOVE her!"
Some parents told me their lost their mind for a few years. Others tell me it didn't last long. Four months was a long ass haul for me. I have a few wrinkles more than I had before, I hope they don't show too badly. But what makes me happiest is that she and I are okay... for now. 
One happy Dusty woman!
Thought for the day
Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.
~ Author Unknown
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Which one pissed her off the most?
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Posted:Jul 11, 2008 7:29 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2011 4:25 am
8699 Views
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Was it the razor blade I took from her after she deliberately slit her hand?
Or was it the fact that she left without telling me where she was and I had the cops pick her up and bring her home?
Anyway, on a lighter note: things I thought about while taking a shit today:
My fiance's . I'll call him Bill. He's a bird lover and has like six cockatiels. The boy is barely learning people skills. He and I clashed HUGE when we first met, but then one day he decided I was not so bad. He's been bugging me for my dove for about a year. Finally, I told him he could have him. Medusa is a white dove, with brown and grey spots. He's gorgeous! His song is relaxing to me and he has this one coo that sounds like he's laughing. I love Medusa. Medusa is in his glory now that I let my fiance's take him. He has had more attention in the week he's been over there than he has in the past nine years I have owned him. I guess he sits on Bills shoulder as Bill does stuff around the house. Oh and his cockateils are jealous of the attention Bill is giving Medusa. hehe
My . I'm glad things are a bit better. She is such a good friend. One of her friends stayed the night last night. He's heart broken and apparently making wrong choices.
A workshop for my fiance. When we went to Ohio we rented a Dodge Charger. Niiiiiice fuckin ride! We have talked about getting a new one when I pay off my Taurus. But I really want to get my fiance a workshop. He needs a place to work on stuff.
Should I go back to bed or not? Maybe I'll stay up and fill out those sweepstakes forms. I could use $5000 a week for the rest of my life.
I think that's just about it. hehe. I love my with all my heart. I'm glad I have NoStrings to blog on to vent. I'm blessed my never gave me shit like this. I'm praying my other will learn from her sisters mistakes. Thanks to those of you who stop by regularly an have given me support with my stresses about my shithead .
Thought for the day
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
~ Author Unknown
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5
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As Time Marches On
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Posted:Jul 9, 2008 7:03 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2008 7:18 am
8404 Views
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Sunday
"I love you."
No reply
Monday
"I love you."
No reply
Tuesday
"I love you."
No reply
Wednesday
"I love you."
No reply
I wonder if she's waiting for me to break. Some head game, huh? Perhaps, I should join her in her game.
Thought for the day
Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.
~ Charles Bukowski
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6
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She's SOOooooo Smart!
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Posted:Jul 7, 2008 1:20 pm
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2008 6:57 am
8182 Views
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"The cops won't do anything if I leave! I'm over the age of 13. I have to be gone over 24 hours before they will do anything about it."
"Then why did that cop come and pick you up at my request after less than an hour?"
"Because you appeared to be worried!"
Yeah right.
Thought for the day
We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time.
~ Arthur Hoppe
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What Chaps My Ass?
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Posted:Jul 2, 2008 1:27 pm
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2008 11:01 am
8411 Views
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My feels her friends are more important than family.
and
I can prove she's sneaking out at night.
The IRS wait time on the phone is 15+ minutes.
My ate my tomato, green, red and yellow pepper, and jalbanero plants.
Thought for the day
A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.
~ Karl Kraus
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Tomatoes Galore and T-Bones
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Posted:Jul 1, 2008 9:17 am
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2008 4:47 pm
8471 Views
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My daughters boyfriends mother brought me some home grown tomatoes last week. I kept saying I was going to make some salsa and figured I better do it before they went bad. So yesterday I got out the food processor and mixed together my tomatoes, green chile, onions, and flavored it with salt, pepper, and garlic.
"OMG! This is addicting!" My and his girlfriend told me as they waited for the fajitas to be done. They polished off a pint of my salsa.
My mother has been getting tons of tomatoes and has been canning her fanny off. She is expected here today with the five dozen quarts of tomato sauce she canned for me. She is also bringing 300 pounds of tomatoes. I am guessing I'll have to go to the grocery store and buy some more quart sized jars and onions to make more salsa.
My family loves pace picante sauce, but I am more partial to the home made salsas. And mine is delicious.
I have a hankering for some T-Bone. I just might go get some today for dinner tonight. But then again, I can toss a roast in the crock pot and it will be done at dinner time. I'll more than likely opt for the latter. Roast gives me some horrible burps. But I sure do love roast.
Thought for the day
Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.
~ Dorothy Parker
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Crab Legs and Shrimp
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Posted:Jun 28, 2008 3:21 pm
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2008 1:10 pm
8621 Views
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OKay, we are going from farts to food.
My fiances work chartered a bus and took employees who wanted to go to the casino. Five hours of gambling fun and the all you can eat buffet. All the crab legs and shrimp you can eat. * licking lips * Okay so I was not that thrilled with the crab legs, but hey, at least I tried. That's more than I would have done two years ago.
I remember nearly five years ago my work sent the entire teaching staff to Palo Alto, California for training and one of our co-workers challenged us close minded food people to try something new each time we ordered. I could not do it.
This man, as a was a very selective eater. Then he went to Central America for some church service and learned that if he wanted to survive, he had to expand his eating horizons a little. And in other ways, it taught him to be even pickier about what he put in his mouth.
When he returned home from Central America he met this lovely lady. His taste for certain cuisine had reverted back to his own selective choices, however, since he ate some very interesting food in central america, his palatte ws even more picky. Her father challenged him to open his mind about what he ate. He told him that there is so many delicious foods out there that he was missing because of his closed mind. Needless to say he has experienced many tantalizing foods that have danced over his tongue since then.
Well, I guess I have gone off on a tangent, but the point to my story is since I have met my fiance, I have tried foods I never thought I'd eat. Fish sticks are one thing, but fish, oh hell no. I have fished, I have even touched, and cleaned fish. It still gives me the eeby jeebies, but I do it. Fish as a dinner was never a thought before, but now, I love trout. My fiance loves bass and crappie and it's alright, but cod... oh yummy! I was hesitant to try shrimp, but my fiance was persistant and now I really like shrimp. I only regret that I didn't eat more shrimp last night. Because, now, I'm craving it now.
Thought for the day
I once knew a woman who offered her honor So I honored her offer And all night long I was on her and off her.
~ Author Unknown
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Farts pt III
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Posted:Jun 25, 2008 7:41 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2011 3:06 am
8416 Views
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WARNING!!!! Yet another blog about farting.
Just when you thought that two blogs about farting was enough. There's more ready to bust out.
(1) is like a scorpion. You can't hear it come, but when the sting hits you, you definitely know.
(2) is like a rattle snake. You can hear it and prepare for the nasty venom.
My sons are almost like a whistle.
My fiances are most times like a horn.
Mine are like a ducks quack.
One day I was driving home. I guess the drive was not even three miles. We had just been at a school activity. Well, less then a mile on the road, I farted. It was so bad, even a gas mask would not help. We were laughing so hard. My daughters had their heads hanging out the window. Suddenly (1) asks, "Mom, where are we going?"
Giggling, I answer, "home."
"Uhm, you missed our turn."
I started laughing so hard this time I had to pull the car over, I literally could not drive from the laughter.
"God, Mom!" She said, "It made you so delirious that you forgot how to get home?"
I'd promise that this is the last one, but when you are inspired to write about it, sometimes it can't be helped. * giggle *
Thought for the day
Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.
~ Author Unknown
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Farts pt II
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Posted:Jun 23, 2008 2:53 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2011 3:03 am
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WARNING!!!! This is about farting ladies and gentlemen, so don't continue if you could gag from the following sick humor.
Ever farted during sex?
My last blog was about farting, and the stench continues. teehee
Yes, I have farted during sex on more than one occassion. The first time was not a good memory, however it was memorable. Long story short. I was fucking guy for over five years. during that five years of sex I always performed oral sex on him, but he never did on me. One day he asked, "What can I do to make it better for you?"
"Well, I give you head, I'd like the favor returned."
So we start messing around and he obliges my request. But instead of letting me enjoy that act he flips around and starts 69ing me. Well, talk about premature ejaculation (happened a lot) he shot his wad and down it went, but not in my throat. I was coughing and gagging, he didn't stop. He was on top of me, I was pinned, gagging for dear life. Trying to gasp a breath before I choked on his cum. It stopped when in my coughing fit I farted in his face. (that's the memorable part.) Asshole!
I have issues about 69 now. Although, I have done it without choking or farting in someones face since.
The second, and good memory of farting was while making love to my boyfriend. I covered my face and stopped what I was doing I was totally mortified. He giggled. "I am so sorry!" He went to kiss me and tell me it was okay, but I was so embarrassed and asked for some time to recoupe. Later he told me he liked the feeling it gave him on his boys. Well, I have farted many other times during sex, with the same result. He loves how it feels. Last night he was making love to my ass. Well, I said, "Uh oh! One of two things are going to happen."
Just as he asked, I farted. I could feel his body tense up and he said, "Oh baby! I am about to explode."
"Explode baby!"
Farting is not always an unwanted thing.
Thought for the day
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
~ Murray Banks
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