A and her Dildo(joke)
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Posted:Feb 16, 2006 5:47 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2012 8:43 am
3460 Views
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A mother comes home and hears moaning and groaning coming from upstairs. She rushes up to find her in bed alone. The mother asks,"Honey,what in the world are u doing?"
The whips out a giant dildo from beneath the sheets and replies,"You know I'm the ugliest girl in town,I'll never get a man,this is my new husband!" The mother shakes her head and leaves.
The following day, the father comes home and hears moaning and groaning from upstairs. He goes up to find his in bed alone and says,"Sweetie,what are u doing?"
The whips out the giant dildo from beneath the sheets and replies,"You know that I'll never get a man,this is my new husband!"
The father turns and leaves.
The next day, the mother comes home and hears moaning and groaning coming from the garage. She
opens the door and is horrified to see her husband bent over chugging a beer in one hand and ramming the giant dildo up his ass with the other. She yells,"What the hell do you think you are doing?"
The husband replies,"What,can't a guy have a drink with his new -in law?"
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The Quest for HER
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Posted:Jan 31, 2006 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3102 Views
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I'm just kinda writing what my mind is spewing.I know she's out there somewhere, I mean there has to be somebody for everyone , right? I mean i've been with partners (3 last year-the start of me
semi-actively looking)but they didn't work out. I find some things to like about these ladies, but not enough. I want the total package, I wanna like EVERYTHING about my partner or more realistically, most things and be happily annoyed by what I'm not crazy about/not looking to change anyone! I found partners in which the sex was great, but I couldn't relate to them , I just wasn't comfortable being me and freely conversing. I found someone who I had alot in common with until I realized that they REALLY liked the sound of their own voice! I'd end up watching TV(lo volume) as she went on and on and on about the stuff that we DIDN'T have in common,while we were on the phone.And when something actually peaked my interest, she'd interupt me and take over the conversation OR she would start talking to her birds or dogs,as in pretty lenghty conversations with her pets while I'm hanging on the other end of the phone!!! Anyway, i guess I'm trying to say ,so far I've found pieces of what i'm looking for , but I want more before i make a committment. The longest of my past(recent) relationships was about 3 months(and it lasted that long cause I couldn't get a word in edgewise to try and breakup!).I 'm GONNA keep searching because i feel I wasted too many years thinking someone would magically fall out of the sky, that it would just happen and fall into place. It feels good to get things off my chest. I'm not looking for the PERFECT woman,but I do feel that there's has to be someone out there perfect or pretty darn close for me! Let's hope my quest isn't a delusion !!!
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Feeling hitty the other day ... a case of the what ifs
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Posted:Jan 22, 2006 6:26 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3063 Views
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The Wanting
Sitting here, sadly alone.
Shackled to a past
I have not outgrown.
Haunted by dreams of love
that wither and decay.
Self doubt and denial
have led me astray.
Reflections of a sweeter life
in a mirror cracked.
Choking on the regrets
of my failures to act.
The king of what could have been,
and the wanting is my throne.
Sitting here, sadly alone.
- digallwomen
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Too much TV
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Posted:Jan 22, 2006 6:11 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3144 Views
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I've got to get off the couch. I try (well I want to try),but damn it, I watch too many shows that are GOOD. I'm whittling down what I view.
I'm dropping HOUSEWIVES and I don't watch any
sitcoms(except the soon to be cancelled ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT).Shows I can't drop: The SHIELD, 24,
ALIAS(last season),NIP/TUCK(over til next year),RESCUE ME(coming this spring),DEADWOOD,BOSTON LEGAL, GREY's ANATOMY, SURVIVOR.
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fondly remembering a past love
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Posted:Jan 21, 2006 6:08 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2011 12:32 pm
3182 Views
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A Good Night's Sleep
She clung to me, a vine to a trestle.
Or was I clinging to her?
My arm wrapped beneath and around
drawing her closer, if that was possible.
I could not sleep. I did not mind.
She slept like a baby,
and that was all that mattered.
I was content to watch her dream.
And for the first time,
I realized that I loved her, really loved her.
In the morning,when she awakened,
I sat up and shook to life my slumbering arm.
She was well rested.
And though I had not slept,
I felt well rested.
-digallwomen
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