I don’t even know what to say.....  

Only_one_14 51F
820 posts
4/6/2020 8:27 pm
I don’t even know what to say.....

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Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/6/2020 8:31 pm

Instacart is awesome 👏


Justtrynafuck777 25M
4 posts
4/6/2020 9:18 pm

Very nice I would love to hear some more sexy stuff from you


Mr00Fun4U 60M  
852 posts
4/6/2020 9:39 pm

Enjoyed your story about crop dusting as you were walking the aisles. I had a buddy of mine back in the day that drank too much Canadian Moosehead Beer. Well it gave him terrible gas and just like you he let a few slide as we were talking to these lovely young Ladies at a Bar in Lake Tahoe. I can still remember one of the Girls saying my gawd the septic system is terrible in this place. Oh how I wanted to tell them that it's my friend who surprisingly hasn't shitted himself.

Thanks for stirring a funny memory.

I dont even know what to say


idblueswoman 61F  
687 posts
4/6/2020 9:41 pm

Thanks for the chuckle, stay healthy and safe.


PAWAPh 44M
12408 posts
4/6/2020 10:23 pm

Funny Shit!!

Thanks!

Jack


hardguy0051 68M
159 posts
4/6/2020 10:33 pm

    Quoting Mr00Fun4U:
    Enjoyed your story about crop dusting as you were walking the aisles. I had a buddy of mine back in the day that drank too much Canadian Moosehead Beer. Well it gave him terrible gas and just like you he let a few slide as we were talking to these lovely young Ladies at a Bar in Lake Tahoe. I can still remember one of the Girls saying my gawd the septic system is terrible in this place. Oh how I wanted to tell them that it's my friend who surprisingly hasn't shitted himself.

    Thanks for stirring a funny memory.

    I dont even know what to say
You sure it wasn't Kokanee?


Paulxx001 63M  
16607 posts
4/7/2020 12:28 am

"... hovercrafted..." - really? Interesting description of stealth.
Egg 🥚 sandwich 🥪, huh? 🤔 I know. ❗My phone 📱 has the latest scratch n sniff option on it. 😶
Okie dokie... 🙄🔥😅

... is there another way to look at it.
A New Way to Look At Things The Paradox of the Gripe


MyBaffies 50M
4192 posts
4/7/2020 1:55 am

Farting is the basis of a lot of humour these days, so dunno why that guy had such a problem with it.

Farting in close company with a partner shows a healthy relationship. Provided they are not the type to deliberately fart in bed and then shove your head under the duvet. amp;

Baffies

My Blog: MyBaffies


MyBaffies 50M
4192 posts
4/7/2020 1:59 am

And of course, farting in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

Baffies

My Blog: MyBaffies


lindoboy100 57M
20978 posts
4/7/2020 2:31 am



Ah, I do love bodily dysfunctions, and when it's a lovely lady talking about her flatulent deliveries I can just about piss meself! And it sounds like your arse and mine may have a lot in common! Well, yours won't be hairy, spotty or sweaty, and definitely not scottish mind!!

I often let a wee silent but violent creature slip out when I'm shopping, it clears the aisles in short order. I used to work in my own wee room, happily farting away, not a care in the world, until the lovely young HR girl came in to talk about a problem.......well, really, there's no where to hide!

I hope your isolation turns out to be purely precautionary McDote, and that you are able to generate sufficient aromas that even the Instacart guy is impressed!

Pull ma finger.........


luv2suk1966 59M/53F
1163 posts
4/7/2020 5:26 am

My eyes are leaking from laughing so hard!!! Thanks for the chuckle this morning. Farts are funny!!!

Have a great day, and be nice to one another.


WyoCowboy7751 67M
482 posts
4/7/2020 6:19 am

    Quoting MyBaffies:
    And of course, farting in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Reminds me of the story from many years ago ;
Lady on the elevator rips a smelly one. reaches in her purse and takes out a small bottle of pine scent and sprays the elevator. Door opens at another floor and a male steps in. As the door closes and hoping to make small talk; she asks him; Don't you just love that they put pine scent in here. He looks at her with slight scorn on his face and says; Lady, it smells like someone shit a pine tree in here !


WyoCowboy7751 67M
482 posts
4/7/2020 6:27 am

In the meantime; I once had a girlfriend; when in the midst of sex; would let out what I called, Fuck Farts ! Made it hard not too snicker or laugh; let alone keep up the rhythm as each stroke she would let loose for a far number of strokes.


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:04 am

    Quoting Justtrynafuck777:
    Very nice I would love to hear some more sexy stuff from you
Thanks, I’m sure during isolation or basically any given day my life is a comedy! If you can’t laugh at yourself others will 😘😘


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:07 am

    Quoting Mr00Fun4U:
    Enjoyed your story about crop dusting as you were walking the aisles. I had a buddy of mine back in the day that drank too much Canadian Moosehead Beer. Well it gave him terrible gas and just like you he let a few slide as we were talking to these lovely young Ladies at a Bar in Lake Tahoe. I can still remember one of the Girls saying my gawd the septic system is terrible in this place. Oh how I wanted to tell them that it's my friend who surprisingly hasn't shitted himself.

    Thanks for stirring a funny memory.

    I dont even know what to say
😂😂😂. Let a few slide.... those poor ladies😂😂

We will be in the movie theater and we will get a wiff of something terrible and my hubby will lean over and ask- did you fart??

You would think he would know my scent by now 😂😂


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:07 am

    Quoting idblueswoman:
    Thanks for the chuckle, stay healthy and safe.
You’re welcome! You too, safe and healthy!


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:08 am

    Quoting  :

I bet purple looks good on you! 💕


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:09 am

    Quoting PAWAPh:
    Funny Shit!!

    Thanks!

    Jack


😘😘

Be safe💕


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:11 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    "... hovercrafted..." - really? Interesting description of stealth.
    Egg 🥚 sandwich 🥪, huh? 🤔 I know. ❗My phone 📱 has the latest scratch n sniff option on it. 😶
    Okie dokie... 🙄🔥😅
Yup, my bubble gave me extra burst of wind speed😘


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:13 am

    Quoting MyBaffies:
    Farting is the basis of a lot of humour these days, so dunno why that guy had such a problem with it.

    Farting in close company with a partner shows a healthy relationship. Provided they are not the type to deliberately fart in bed and then shove your head under the duvet. amp;
Dutch Oven! 😂😂

I don’t deliberately do that. I try and send out a smoke signal ahead of time if I feel pressure build up. Sometimes there is a sneak attack that happens band then I just deny😘


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:15 am

    Quoting MyBaffies:
    And of course, farting in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
I’ve been on the receiving end of that as man walks out of elevator and tells me that I might want to wait for the next one- good to know before i get in and the door is closing 🤷‍♀️


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:17 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:


    Ah, I do love bodily dysfunctions, and when it's a lovely lady talking about her flatulent deliveries I can just about piss meself! And it sounds like your arse and mine may have a lot in common! Well, yours won't be hairy, spotty or sweaty, and definitely not scottish mind!!

    I often let a wee silent but violent creature slip out when I'm shopping, it clears the aisles in short order. I used to work in my own wee room, happily farting away, not a care in the world, until the lovely young HR girl came in to talk about a problem.......well, really, there's no where to hide!

    I hope your isolation turns out to be purely precautionary McDote, and that you are able to generate sufficient aromas that even the Instacart guy is impressed!
Egg salad for lunch and chili for dinner. It’s not looking very good for the instacart guy or anyone isolated with me!

FYI- I’m pretty hairy😘


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:20 am

    Quoting WyoCowboy7751:
    Reminds me of the story from many years ago ;
    Lady on the elevator rips a smelly one. reaches in her purse and takes out a small bottle of pine scent and sprays the elevator. Door opens at another floor and a male steps in. As the door closes and hoping to make small talk; she asks him; Don't you just love that they put pine scent in here. He looks at her with slight scorn on his face and says; Lady, it smells like someone shit a pine tree in here !
Lmao 🤣

Omg- I think I have a pine 🌲 hanging freshener!


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:23 am

    Quoting luv2suk1966:
    My eyes are leaking from laughing so hard!!! Thanks for the chuckle this morning. Farts are funny!!!
Leaky eyes are better then a leaky butt! Especially in public😂

I’ve been known to say- don’t fail me now as code to my family.

Have a great day! 😘


Only_one_14 51F
554 posts
4/7/2020 7:27 am

    Quoting WyoCowboy7751:
    In the meantime; I once had a girlfriend; when in the midst of sex; would let out what I called, Fuck Farts ! Made it hard not too snicker or laugh; let alone keep up the rhythm as each stroke she would let loose for a far number of strokes.
Vagina farts!!!

Yes, the build up of air that lets out is funny. It has happened many times. It is funny and it’s hard to continue as the air tooting with each stroke..... if man is on top and collapses with exhaustion on air filled tummy..... it’s like a Whoopi cushion noise!

😂😂😂


lindoboy100 57M
20978 posts
4/7/2020 7:31 am

    Quoting Only_one_14:
    Egg salad for lunch and chili for dinner. It’s not looking very good for the instacart guy or anyone isolated with me!

    FYI- I’m pretty hairy😘


Och, dinnae worry about that McDote, I'm pretty guid at pluckin ladies' arse hairs oot wi ma teeth!!

Ah you do make me laugh, thank you!

Pull ma finger.........


Tmptrzz 57F  
78087 posts
4/7/2020 9:54 am

Your not alone hun that happens to many of us when we least expect it. This was a great read, as your only human!!! I hope your allergies go away soon, I have been dealing with them since like February because for some strange reason the weather was feeling Spring like and bringing out all the beautiful yet annoying so very early this year.

I hope your staying healthy and safe too, and lets pray this Shelter-In-Place ends soon..

Just your average every day run of the mill nana here!!!


easy_going2014 53M
12886 posts
4/7/2020 1:11 pm

thanks for sharing

this one was funny

that's the main reason I can't see how "arranged" marriages work

if you can't judge that first fart from an intended lover, it's over

forget about the snoring

just sayin'

reminded me of this one

Bob's Burgers - "Farts Will Set You Free"

When you feel like school
Has sucked the wind out of your sails
Remember that it's cool
To use the wind that's in your tails

Fart, fart, fart
Fart, fart, fart, fart
Every fart is a work of art

Don't know where to begin?
Don't know where to start?
Farts will set you free

It's that gas from your a**
It's that toot from your boot
That hum from your bum
It's that loot in your chute

All that air from your own derriere
Come on and set it free
'Cause farts are liberty

What do we want to do?
Fart, fart!
Open up your butt cheeks
This is how our butts speak

Let's go
Fart!

It's that gas from your a**
It's that toot from your boot
That hum from your bum
It's that loot in your chute

All that air from your own derriere
Come on and set it free
'Cause farts are liberty

Come on and set it free
'Cause farts are liberty
'Cause farts will set you free!
'Cause farts will set you free!

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