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Partial Drama Island
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Partial Drama Island Emrakul does not grant wishes – your desires simply align to her interests . I feel like I've used that blog title before . But hey YOU try keeping things original after you've been blogging 87 years . This morning (last night ? ) sometime between the hours of 1 AM and 2 AM there came a rapping at my chamber door (wouldn't it be funny if the raven from the raven was rapping in the sense of spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics , no not really) and by rapping I mean drunken pounding . Now I assumed , as I always do that I was about to be murdered , and yet I went to the door , as I always do . If I can go on an aside for a moment , and I feel that I can , I was wondering why I do this . I'm not kidding , I legit thought I was going to be killed - so why did I open the door ? And I think its because I'm crazy Midwestern and I don't want to be rude . Which is weird because I'm rude to people all the time . Its messed up , I don't even know . I stagger to the door extra-groggy because I'm getting over a cold and I drank a bottle of Nyquil and when I open it the girlfriend of this dude I kinda know but not really is standing there . Honestly it was so incongruous I couldn't even formulate a response - how did she even know where I live ? I don't think Bane even knows where I live . Aside #2 - why is this guy called Bane ? I don't know . They called him that before that movie came out and in any event he doesn't have a wacky . And he's not a big muscly dude either - he used to be scrawny but after he left the service he's gotten pudgy like the rest of us . But you know it’s worse because he used to be skinny so he seems fatter than he really is . So I'm still just standing there in the doorway and she barges in and starts airing all their dirty laundry - I guess they broke up ? I just cannot wrap my mind around why she's in my house . While she's scampering about detailing Bane's failings as a man for some reason she goes into the kitchen , falls , ripping the blinds off the window in the process and then starts bawling because she hurt her knee . At this point I'm thinking it’s a dream ? Aside #3 one of the dudes in my gaming group claims that he feels pain in dreams . That’s bullshit right ? She talks and talks and I have no clue what is happening . I feel like maybe I should call the cops , but I’m pretty sure they’d just laugh . Eventually she winds down the crazy train and the whole time she’s been gesturing wildly with a mobile phone and as she’s leaving she gives it to me and says to get it back to Bane . Fine , whatever , sayonara and good riddance . She drives off (drunkenly , I guess I should have called the cops on her for that) but before I can get back to bed two of Bane’s<b> buddies </font></b>show up – one of him I know a little better and some other dude I basically just know his name . They’re looking for said ex-girlfriend BUT unless they were following her how would they know to come to me house ?! And if they were following her why didn’t they show up right after her ? I tell them she just left and the one dude immediately turns about and goes back to their car , but the dude I kind of know , Catfish , hangs around . I didn’t know why at the time but in the light of day I realize why – he thought I had her stashed away and was lying . Because that’s what he and people of his ilk would do – some drunk crazy chick shows up at your house , you bang her , that’s just what you do . And he knows me well enough to know that I don’t really date so he probably thinks I’m totally hard up for pussy , but he doesn’t know me well enough to know that I don’t give a shit . Anyway , so I give him the phone and tell him to give it back to Bane and he says “this isn’t Bane’s phone he’s got a (whatever) and this is a (something else)” . So he starts scrolling through the numbers (which don’t phones all have passcodes these days) trying to figure out who’s it is and he keeps going “here’s X’s number so it’s not his and here’s Y’s number so it’s not his and etc.” And I just stand there like an idiot instead of screaming “fuck off , I don’t care , get out of my house !” So I says to him I says “Don’t phones all have GPS these days , tell it to give your directions home and see who’s house it is” . But then the phone rings and he answers it and I can hear that its drunk ex-girlfriend herself . And she asks “Is this 40 ?” and he says that it is and then she starts in with that I assume was supposed to be sexy talk . I remember she kept asking “Is your dick kosher ?” and saying that her pussy was kosher . Aside #4 when I met her she said something about being Jewish but later on someone claimed that was an act and she just liked people to think she’s Jewish . Not sure what I believe there . So Catfish goes “Actually , this isn’t 40 , this is Banjo” who’s another dude who I guess is involved in this somehow ? And she hangs up immediately . At this point Catfish finally leaves and I get to go back to bed – it’s close to 3 AM and I’ve been sick all week and not sleeping well but I think , at least its Saturday and I can sleep in . Six o’clock rolls around and I am WIDE awake . As we get older why do our bodies get so stupid about sleep ? Why I am awake ? Stupid body . People say that as you get older you need less sleep but I say bullshit on that , you just sleep less and end up tired all the time .  So anyway , that happened , and then I’m taking to my sister this morning and she says “weird stuff like this always happens to you” which I disagree with and we bicker about that for a while . But I think what the deal is is that I don’t really say much usually , so when I do it sticks out in people’s mind . I think just as much weird stuff happens to other people but they talk so much it all gets lost in the shuffle . Plus what I’ve noticed is that some people specifically DON’T talk about the only interesting things that happen to them . Such as a dude will spend 22 minutes talking about toast until you want to kill yourself and then when he walks away you notice he’s limping . So you ask what that’s about and someone says “oh , he broke up a fighting ring the other day and the cops accidentally shot him when they showed up” . Why didn’t he mention that ?! Why the hell was he droning on with his toast soliloquy ? So since I was up anyway , I’ve been going about my day and I got an alert from my ID protection service and I didn’t want to check it out because it always just about sex offenders moving into my area but what’s the point of having the service if you never look at the alerts ? And of course that’s what it was . I need to figure out how to turn that off because it’s just depressing . Why are there so god damn many sex offenders ? And then see one dude was guilty of sexual assault and one dude was guilty of sexual abuse and you wonder that the difference is so you look it up and you go down a rabbit hole of criminal statutes for sex crimes and by the time it’s done you want to burn all humans to death . That’s why I don’t understand the longevity of Law & Order SVU . I watched it for a while during the Law & Order boom but it just becoming too depressing . Why does everyone love that show ? You’re all sick . I remember one time my brother in law said that he had missed an episode and asked “what happened” and I was like “uh . . . .” because we’re sitting around the family dinner table . What do you think happened man ! The same thing that always happens , someone was sexually abused ! In other news , I’m reading a book wherein a woman recounts her experience growing up during “a cultural shift in the sexual landscape caused by adult entertainment” . I don’t know if adult entertainment is to blame , but it’s in the same vein as Sexy Baby and things like that – about the pressure on girls to be attractive . Anyway , the part that I found telling was the bit where she talks about when she was a all she wanted to do was play video games and do “normal” stuff but instead she had to put on make-up and shop for cool clothes and whatnot because if you don’t try to be pretty no one will like you . This made me wonder two things . Firstly , is this really a new thing , or is his more or less how it’s always been ? As a girl you can play and have fun for a certain amount of time and then you need to “grow up” which means making yourself attractive to a man or you’re a bag a garbage . And secondly , do most women feel like that ? They’d rather be doing something else but they feel outside pressure to conform ? I guess I assume they were brainwashed into wanting to conform . If we’ve moved as a society to where the brainwashing has failed but women are repressed solely by societal norms that’s progress right ? It’s hard to imagine as a dude . There’s no real transition , you’re just kind always how you are . Not that “growing up” as a man doesn’t mean something , but you don’t become a different person . It’s all kind of depressing also , but not sex offender depressing . And finally , I found my purity anti-twin . According to NoStrings I’m 63% “pure” and she’s 37% “pure” . I’m pretty sure if we had sex we’d merge like Bruna and Grisela into some kind of super-monster . Which would be okay . 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Yet another 40 blog post where I just keep thinking, "how can this possibly be true?" Oh well, true or false, it's always entertaining. Try to take a nap today dude.  
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well, your life sounds a hell of a lot more interesting than mine, not sure if I would swap though!
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our society is evolving but slowly...oh, so slowly. Proof? Me. Raised in a female repressed age and I do not conform 97% of the time. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Yeah... deny it all you like, we know you fucked her with your kosher dick 
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